I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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