I puked a lego.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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