forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
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