i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Randomize
