Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
