I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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