If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
