i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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