i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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