no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
