if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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