omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
