butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
