Just mADE A PArabola og urine
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
