Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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