i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He did a backflip because drugs
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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