Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
