she was so not down for the gang bang
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
