i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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