If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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