Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
