just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize