What a fucking waste of an outfit
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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