i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
