Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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