Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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