D3 body, D1 cock
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
