Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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