I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
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