Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Are my feet made of real feet?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
