no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
