No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
