Where did you get a picture of my penis
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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