Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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