if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I wish there were birth control emojis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize