have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Randomize
