you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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