it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
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