yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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