I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
