We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Your penis caused this!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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