I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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