I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
if only i could text you this smell
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Randomize
