what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
