Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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