why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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