Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I need a beard to bite.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
