I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
