Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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