I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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