Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Alive.
So much puke
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
