she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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