Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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