pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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