what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I had to cum in my sink.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
