dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
