My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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