If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize