Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Just pee around me
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
