Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
