Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize