I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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