Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
