drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
We got so high we made milksteak
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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