you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
