Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
